My grandma passed away early Friday morning.

I found out later Friday afternoon, after my job interview and my errands. Her death wasn’t expected, in fact it was actually a surprise, making it all the more difficult to find out.

She was at her home, apparently getting ready to start her day. Her morning tea was still sitting on her stove in the teacup, her morning newspaper remained neatly placed on her chair in the den, and her granola sat on a napkin on the kitchen counter.

The police figure she had a heart attack or a stroke, because of her position when they found her. She was still wearing her bathrobe, stockings and PJ’s. There was no blood, no bumps, or cuts, or anything found on her. She just collapsed suddenly, and that was it. They figured it was quick and painless for her. 

It’s still just so surreal. I had just seen her 2 weeks ago, and she was healthy, happy, doing so well. She even knew I had a job interview that day, and told my dad she was looking forward to hearing a call about how it went. I just…feel so sick when I think about it. In the blink of an eye, she’s just…gone.

She was 83. Granted, that is old, but for someone who one minute was doing just fine and then the next…

I just wish I would wake up from this nightmare and she would be back here with us. I loved her so much, and I know she loved me. She always cared about me and wanted me to do well; she even helped me get a loan for school so I could go.

This just sucks. Life goes on, but it just feels so much emptier without her. I already miss her so much…

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends, if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned that something that you do in an instant, can give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words; it may be that last time you see them.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude, or it controls you.

I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing, and still have a good time.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down, will be the one who helps you get up.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I am angry, I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them too, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, doesn’t mean they do love each other.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret; it may change your life forever.

I’ve learned that you can’t make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just dont care back.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and just seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in life, but who you have that counts.

I’ve learned that you can keep going, long after you think you can’t.

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.

I’ve learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives, but we are responsible for who we become.

(via x3jessicaa & keshialee)